“I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass…” [counting crows].
I can’t tell you know much those lyrics mean to me.
I remember a few years ago, as I sat by my grandpa in his hospital bed holding his hand, I repeated those lyrics in my mind over and over and over. I wanted to cherish those seconds, those breathes with him, because I knew they were limited. And I’m so glad I held onto those moments as they passed, because they live so vividly in my mind today. He’ll always be with me.
A dear relative of mine passed away recently, and as I sat there listening to my fathers voice tell me the news, tears fell down my cheeks as I thought of his family.
I’m so thankful that I was able to see him at our wedding in September. To hug him and see his smile. I hang onto the moments I remember with him, at our reception 3 months ago and at their summer cabin during my childhood years. The old photographs and family stories.
Death is something that’s real hard for me to swallow, but the more I encounter it, the more I learn it’s a time when love is at its fullest. Our emotions are what make us human, our feelings are what drive our relationships. We cry for the loss, but celebrate the life and memories they leave us behind. We cry because we loved, because we were touched by their lives.
Every close relationship is precious. Everyday is a gift. And I can’t remember all the times I try to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass.